JUST THINKING-MOMENT OF PEACE

I woke up early, way too early this morning, not by choice, but for the required duties of making a living...but at least I work from home. Despite the early start time of 5am, I keep telling myself, "don't worry u r off at 1:30pm". Plus the added benefit of rolling out of bed and not wasting precious fuels to drive to a specific destination. However, I have been bored recently with my self...not just my job.

You see, almost a year ago, my father-in-law was deathly sick. He miraculously recovered, thank God, however his life has been drastically altered and we were forced to bring him to live our way...500 miles away from his home on the beach, the home he has chosen to retire at and live the remainder of his life in peace...which has now been taken away from him. Due to his illness, he is unable to live alone and after several moves, from hospital to rehab to assisted living, we have finally chosen his final living quarters. Now I hope this doesn't sound selfish, but this incident has sent my family life on a trip I never expected...The family fights (close and distant relatives), the constant needs of my father-in-law, the bills, the time taken away from my family and personal life...it's been crazy. But we are there for him, helping him, taking care of his every need, despite his resistance.

So, over the past year or so, my quality of life has changed drastically...and I hate to say it, but for the worse, letting this illness consume our lives...taking away much happiness and peace which existed. My physical and mental well-being have suffered immensley!

However, slowly, I am taking my life back. It will never be the same as it was, nor should it ever be as we change, as we age, as our children and parents grow older and we become the responsible adult. All we can do is try to accept these changes and welcome this new form of life with peace. This is what I have been trying to tell my family, what I have been begging my husband to accept, what I have asked my father-in-law to allow to happen. But everyone is resistant and sometimes I find myself consumed with the blues. But I will not allow it to take over, just settle in for a short time, or perhaps it's PMS (which has taken on a whole new life in my 40's).

Anyway, lately I have stumbled onto some very inspiring music and blogs I have now chosen to follow. I'm not sure how I found these blogs...but I love them and I want to thank these inspiring people who have motivated me to be a better person, mentally and physically, not to mention environmentally! How did these people get to be so insightful I ask myself? How did they become so creative? How can I get me some of that? It's a slow process, you can't change everything over night, I keep telling myself. But look out world...here I come...looking for my piece of peace, searching every day...I know I will find it, it just might take some time!

So, again, thank you to my new blog followers for my daily inspiration and keep it up....I need you!